he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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