she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize