Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers

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  (702): i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers http://tfl.nu/2g28
  Replies (3) Good night (2725) Bad night (572)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits

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  (954): I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits http://tfl.nu/hlpn
  Replies (11) Good night (1123) Bad night (3342)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband

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  (703): I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband http://tfl.nu/pijn
  Replies (91) Good night (17874) Bad night (1024)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.

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  (321): I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment. http://tfl.nu/8o3c
  Replies (18) Good night (3335) Bad night (724)
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  (718): View more from New York

  You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?

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  (718): You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish? http://tfl.nu/wvgn
  Replies (28) Good night (8766) Bad night (1594)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests

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  (917): On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests http://tfl.nu/0vji
  Replies (7) Good night (3303) Bad night (2046)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.

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  (217): I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in. http://tfl.nu/j76d
  Replies (7) Good night (3616) Bad night (851)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere

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  (+61): We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere http://tfl.nu/ed23
  Replies (7) Good night (2541) Bad night (918)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps

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  (609): Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps http://tfl.nu/8xhn
  Replies (5) Good night (2622) Bad night (644)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or

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  (303): ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or http://tfl.nu/vwgc
  Replies (21) Good night (1860) Bad night (978)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".

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  (317): No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila". http://tfl.nu/tmys
  Replies (6) Good night (1589) Bad night (560)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.

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  (757): She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza. http://tfl.nu/cuy7
  Replies (8) Good night (1541) Bad night (462)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.

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  (828): We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it. http://tfl.nu/17vl
  Replies (5) Good night (1784) Bad night (453)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.

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  (337): why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/berd
  Replies (4) Good night (972) Bad night (624)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.

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  (248): apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week. http://tfl.nu/ax7v
  Replies (1) Good night (368) Bad night (459)

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