explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
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I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
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Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through