Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.

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(201): remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal. http://tfl.nu/yu6k

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.

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(412): woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered. http://tfl.nu/z2cy

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(600): View more from

I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans

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(600): I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans http://tfl.nu/5cg9

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

oh fat girl friday strikes again...

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(724): oh fat girl friday strikes again... http://tfl.nu/rgt0

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(330): View more from Ohio

Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking

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(330): Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking http://tfl.nu/g2ou

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(208): View more from Idaho

She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.

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(208): She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible. http://tfl.nu/a9zl

Replies (41) Good night (860) Bad night (9210)
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(415): View more from California

He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.

(650): View more from California

.......................................

(415): View more from California

My thoughts exactly.

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(415): He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic. (650): ....................................... (415): My thoughts exactly. http://tfl.nu/05rl

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight

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(267): I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight http://tfl.nu/859p

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?

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(774): there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours? http://tfl.nu/8xmr

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.

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(651): I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his. http://tfl.nu/2lgm

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(307): View more from Wyoming

These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.

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(307): These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line. http://tfl.nu/f42j

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(530): View more from California

Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.

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(530): Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking. http://tfl.nu/izw9

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(407): View more from Florida

I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.

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(407): I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so. http://tfl.nu/va18

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(912): View more from Georgia

I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.

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(912): I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations. http://tfl.nu/gyzy

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(954): View more from Florida

Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.

(1-954): View more from Florida

Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.

(954): View more from Florida

I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?

(1-954): View more from Florida

A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think

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(954): Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early. (1-954): Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar. (954): I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am? (1-954): A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think http://tfl.nu/h7b0

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