I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
