I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
