But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
