so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
