She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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