I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
whose parrot is this?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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