My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
