This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
