Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
