Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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