a search helicopter?!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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