Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
