i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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