my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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