yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
