I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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