Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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