I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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