that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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