We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
