just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
