when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
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I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
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Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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