Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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