She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
