i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
