Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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