at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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