Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
