Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
