I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
