i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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