I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It was confusing and full of hummus
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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