i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I fill condoms, not promises.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
