Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
