I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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