and you said cock pushups were impossible
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The power of my boobs compel you
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
