I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
