also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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