You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
