Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
