Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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