found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
