and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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