would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Can I color on your dick again?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
