I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
