Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING THE BAGELS
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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