He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
