just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
