Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
