some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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