I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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