Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
