We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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