theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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