She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
