I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
