My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
