This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
