plz talk dirty to me
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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