im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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