Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
