I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
