The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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