I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
how drunk are you?
Several
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
