And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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