I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
