What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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